Point of View #12: Lorraine

Lorraine first emailed me back in August 2010, saying she was BRCA2+ and planning on getting prophylactic mastectomies soon. She was doing her research and wanted to view photos of One Step BPMs. In October 2010 Lorraine let me know that she'd had the One Step reconstruction done with nipple-sparing, and she wanted to share her own "photo story" with women like you, since she said she'd been helped so much by viewing other women's photos before her own surgery.

Like many women, Lorraine experienced some post-surgery anxiety and worries about a week after her One Step. This is the time period when many patients see their reconstructions for the first time and also when they have to start trying on new bras, which means for the first time after surgery they have to experience the feeling of a lot of upper body movement. It's quite disconcerting to feel your pectoral muscles sliding around over implants when you're testing your range of motion and most of your local surgical anesthesia has worn off. Lorraine told me that she was very emotional, crying out of the blue all the time, and didn't feel as positive about her surgery anymore, like she had permanent PMS. At 8 days out, she hated the way her boobs felt when she moved her arms, hated how her implants felt like they were moving around under her pecs, and hated the numbness of her skin.

She was afraid these sensations of implant movement and pectoral muscle sensitivity would never go away, that they'd be permanent "new normals" she'd have to get used to, and she couldn't imagine ever being happy with these sensations. She said she just wanted the implants OUT of her, even though she didn't regret her decision to have the BPM. She was even reading about other reconstruction alternatives she perhaps could've opted for instead, like doing the reconstruction with the implant over the muscle, so she wouldn't have to feel the sensation of muscles flexing over implants. She asked me, "Am I being crazy for second-guessing myself like this?"

When you're 8 days out from surgery, it's hard to imagine that the way your new breasts look and feel will dramatically change and improve over time. But they do, very dramatically. All Lorraine needed was some reassurance of this.

Exactly one month later in October, Lorraine wrote me to say that she healed quickly and that she "loves her foobs!" She'd gone from feeling almost panicked and anxiety-ridden to happy and relieved in a month's time -- all that were required to change her state of mind were patience, healing, and time. In fact she had become so emotionally invested in her surgery experience that she'd taken photos of her journey and wanted to help others with them the way others' photos had helped her.

Lorraine currently has 9 photos to share of her One Step reconstruction: 2 pre-surgery and 7 post-surgery. They range from the day of surgery to 10 days post-op. She may possibly be adding some more updated photos soon, as it is now a full 3 months since her surgery and her breasts look quite different now than they do in her photo gallery.

Lorraine's photos are not on this site. If you don't have the URL and password already to view Lorraine's and others' photos, please email me at rebecca (at) onestepscoop (dot) com to request the URL and password.